Get excited eating human peoples – – The Great State Fair of Texas opens one week from today!
Have you been doing your kegels? Have you been doing your stomach stretches? I have! There’s going to be a lot to explore when those gates fly open and battered and fried angels sing glorious calorie laden choruses.
But, what about money? Is your wallet ready? True, The Fair is no cheap exercise in awesomeness. That’s why I got really f***ing rich – so, I could go crazy at The Fair, trying all the food eats and food bites and then report to your stomach’s wallet where to best spend your tiny limited funds (excuse me while I give you a pity laugh). I wish you were rich, then we could be friends in real life.
So, what do you do if you can’t afford to attend The Fair? Do you start making and dealing crystal with the no-goodnick who used to sit in the back of your chemistry class, making jokes and not learning? Do you use your “real talents” and set up an Etsy store? Do you get a 2nd job? HA! (sorry.)
What about financial aid? Would you consider taking out a loan? Crazy?
Yeah. That’s happening. At the State Fair of Oklahoma. With 206% interest. Worth it? Probably not…at the Oklahoma State Fair!
I would do it for The Great State Fair of TEXAS, though. I mean. You gotta have hobbies, right?
So,contact your friendly neighborhood loan shark and save your pennies, children. The time is nigh. Greatness is just over the horizon, waiting to show itself upon you and yours. Kiss your loved ones and save those pay stubs.
**NOTE – There’s NOTHING right about that story. My Gator heart hurts.