Sweet deep fried balls of heaven. Ladies and gentlemen, we are just a little over 8 days away from opening day of the GREAT State Fair of Texas! This could quite possibly be the most anticipated State Fair in like…a really long time. Seriously, guys. Think about it. After pulling a totally awesome Dumbledore fiery exit, our great fearless state mascot,
Nolan Ryan Big Tex, underwent some serious skin and bone implant surgery. He and Paul Bunyan (his best friend) went on a sweet, giant dudes shopping spree at a big and tall store (probably Casual Male XL or The Foundry) and got all new Dickies duds. He learned how to properly stop, drop and roll thanks to our good and brave Dallas Fire Department. Now, he’s waiting in the wings doing some last minute plyometrics and burpees (because if you’re from Dallas, you do Crossfit) preparing to rise from the ashes.
Yes! That is awesome! However, after what I originally felt was a totally weak sauce showing last year, the 2013 Fair’s food shotgun is locked and loaded for bear. And, I’m
ready to take that load in my mouth really hungry and excited. Let’s jump right into this year’s Big Tex Choice Awards finalists. ICYMI the Big Tex Choice Awards are a battle to create the most delicious and most creative fair food you can. Hint: they’re ALWAYS the fried morsels of insanity that we all instinctively publicly denounce but eventually elevate to cult hero status and taste as if they were some haute cuisine. I don’t exclude myself from that group of flip-floppers. So, that’s why this here blog exists. To taste, analyze and tell you what you need to be spending your hard earned $money dollar$ on. Check out past years HERE and HERE.
This year’s Big Tex Choice Awards winners:
– DEEP FRIED CUBAN ROLL (BEST TASTING) – Deep fried pastry dough that’s filled with slow cooked pork shoulder, chopped ham, Swiss cheese, pickles and secret sauce. Served with some mojo sauce for dipping.
– FRIED THANKSGIVING DINNER (MOST CREATIVE) – A ball of homemade stuffing and roasted turkey that’s been dipped in creamed corn and corn meal and fried. Served with brown giblet gravy and orange cranberry sauce.
I am pleased with these winners. While relatively straightforward and not mind-blowingly creative, they sound delicious and I can already feel my GERD acting up…in a sexy way.
The rest of the Big Tex Awards field:
– Awesome Deep Fried Nutella® – Deep fried pastry dough filled with cream cheese and Nutella®. Oh you trendy Nutella®. Al®eady should have been c®eated. Will devou® all the same.
– Fernie’s Deep Fried King Ranch Casserole – Should’ve gone ahead and call this “Deep Fried Texas ‘Murica”. I mean it’s even shaped like Texas.
– Golden Fried Millionaire Pie – Should’ve gone ahead and called his “Deep Fried Texas Rest Stop Snack”, after what I equate this Texas delicacy (Texlicacy) to. Cream cheese, pineapple and Texas pecans, wrapped in a flaky pie crust and fried. Topped with whipped cream, toasted coconut, and candied pecans. I can see the armadillos rodeo riding tumbleweeds right now.
– Spinach Dip Bites – Should have called this “Fried-ay night Swingers Potluck Dinner”. Spinach artichoke dip rolled in crushed up tortilla chips and fried. Leave your keys in the fishbowl.
– Southern Style Chicken-Fried Meatloaf – Now, I’m hell damn excited for this one. Chicken-fried meatloaf slices?! I just punched myself in the mouth! Why? Punch yourself in the mouth for asking!
– Texas Fried Fireball – Should have called this “Deep Fried Bad Breath”. This thing comes loaded with everything, including a hideous East Texas accent. Pimento cheese, pickles, cayenne pepper, and bacon all rolled in a ball, dipped in jalapeno batter and fried. Served with…what else…ranch. Must drink with suhweet tey (I have flawless accents.)
So, there you have it. The Big Tex Awards finalists. However, that’s not all there is. Oh no. Stay by The Gator channel as I walk you through a very exciting and delicious list of New Foods that have me quite intrigued and salivating.
Until then, what do YOU think about these here offerings? Are you excited? Nervous? Sickened? Do you even care? Let me hear from you.