Welcome back, old friend…

In case you haven’t heard, the new Big Tex debuted yesterday. Here he is:

New Big Tex

Photo credit: Amy Silverstein

Originally planned to be a dramatic unveiling on Friday, Thursday’s winds started to slowly undress Big Tex from his white coverup drape revealing his head to the media. Knowing the rug had been pulled out from under them, officials just kind of looked at each other with question mark face, threw their arms in the air with give up and just dropped Big Tex’s giant sarong. Such a womp-wah moment. The big guy deserves better than that. Oh well. 

Upon first glance, he looks very “Big Tex”-ish. Look a little closer, though and I have made two observations:

BVHDJmyCUAEbIIJ

Photo credit: Fox 4 Twitter

1.) His boots: what the hell is going on?
If we take a closer look at his roughly size 70 boots we’ll see these big ass Lucchese boots are decorated with the Texas flag, bluebonnets and the Texas State Capitol. I’m all about state pride.

New Big Tex Boots

Photo credit: Rex C. Curry

However, these things? This doesn’t make my lone star grow and swell. I’m glad his Dickie’s are oh-so-conveniently tucked into those big ugly things so the world can fully absorb the…gaudy brashness.

Perhaps that’s the point? We Texans are gaudy – and bawdy! Otherwise, this piece of crap blog wouldn’t exist. I still just can’t get behind these foot boots. (Tip – it’s great fun to make “foot” and “boot” use the same vowel sound.)

2.) Is it me or…
…does the new Big Tex look like a mashup of Hank Williams Sr. and Decker from Legends of the Fall? Check it…

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You know I’m right. And, before you ask – yeah – I AM THAT familiar with Legends of the Fall that I can recall a tertiary character. #notashamed

Other than that, I have no big qualms with the 2013 Big Tex. Sure, he looks like he’s been ripped from the Dust Bowl and could really use a sandwich and some aloe. Maybe, that’s just a symbol of hard working Texans? Personally, I think THIS should have been the new Big Tex:

Dad Big Tex 2

I am excited to see who they’ve chosen to be Big Tex’s new voice. Mostly, I am excited that the Fair opens today and I will soon be cramming my stomach full of fried foodable eats. It’s going to be a good next few weeks!

The State of Fair runs September 27th – October 20th. Visit the State Fair of Texas’ official website for more info

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One response to “Welcome back, old friend…

  1. Don’t sweat it, Adoplhous and Adoplhous. I will cut yours up with a knife and get it sent to you before they start paiying for their trips with chicken dinners.. @SamuelAdamsBeer

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