Tag Archives: Foodstuffs

2015 State Fair Eatvestigation Foodventure (Round 2): About that Chicken Fried Lobster

The 2015 State Fair of Texas has come and gone and if you didn’t go, you’re stupid, you missed out. This year’s Fair was full of great new food items, plus all the favorites of past years. The Lady Gator and I were able to squeeze in two trips to eat all the things we could for the sake of family home economics. You can read about our first trip here, but let’s get to the artery clogging sticking point:

CHICKEN FRIED LOBSTER.

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2013 State Fair of Texas: new fried foods for the masses

New Big Tex 2

I get corny dog in my eye, too.
Photo Credit: Tom Fox, Dallas Morning News

I promised in my initial State Fair of Texas post dealing with the Big Tex Choice Awards to comment and discuss the generically named “New Fried Foods” at the Fair. I hope you’ve been drinking water. The drool factor and salt content are going to mess you up, sucka. Continue reading

2013 State Fair of Texas: rising from the flames like a freaking food phoenix

Sweet deep fried balls of heaven. Ladies and gentlemen, we are just a little over 8 days away from opening day of the GREAT State Fair of Texas! This could quite possibly be the most anticipated State Fair in like…a really long time. Seriously, Big_Tex_fire.2_retouchedguys. Think about it. After pulling a totally awesome Dumbledore fiery exit, our great fearless state mascot, Nolan Ryan Big Tex, underwent some serious skin and bone implant surgery. He and Paul Bunyan (his best friend) went on a sweet, giant dudes shopping spree at a big and tall store (probably Casual Male XL or The Foundry) and got all new Dickies duds. He learned how to properly stop, drop and roll thanks to our good and brave Dallas Fire Department.  Now, he’s waiting in the wings doing some last minute plyometrics and burpees (because if you’re from Dallas, you do Crossfit) preparing to rise from the ashes. Continue reading

7 Days!

Get excited eating human peoples – – The Great State Fair of Texas opens one week from today! Have you been doing your kegels? Have you been doing your stomach stretches? I have! There’s going to be a lot to explore when those gates fly open and battered and fried angels sing glorious calorie laden choruses.

But, what about money? Is your wallet ready? True, The Fair is no cheap exercise in awesomeness. That’s why I got really f***ing rich – so, I could go crazy at The Fair, trying all the food eats and food bites and then report to your stomach’s wallet where to best spend your tiny limited funds (excuse me while I give you a pity laugh). I wish you were rich, then we could be friends in real life. Continue reading

2012 State Fair of Texas Preview

Do you smell that? That’s my State Fair erection…and it’s growing.

Within the last 12ish days(?) the finalists for the 2012 State Fair of Texas Big Tex Choice Awards were announced and a winner was named. Upon reading the list of foods that, in just under a month, will meet their end in my stomach, I was left with a feeling peppered with excitement but mostly flavored with a giant question mark above my head. I guess it was also upheld by dedication, responsibility, and nostalgia. I have a job to do. A service to mankind. However, I don’t find myself with the feeling of blind food disbelief  and “awe” that many others in the world of the interwebs do. Continue reading